(Based on actual events.)
Where was I? Oh, yeah ... bringing you up to date. (Hold on ... last bite of cucumber ... must have.)
Remember that thing growing out of my right hand? Well, I was right. It does make a useful walking cane. And it's still detachable! And no, it didn't keep on growing right through the floor. (Thank goodness. I would have been s-t-u-c-k.)
Wish my left hand had one too. (Oh, well.)
And did I tell you about my stint in the environmental unit (also known as the torture chamber?) Let me just say that it amazes me to no end what these doctors can think up. I firmly believe they are all descended from Ulperian Pain Givers.
So ... while they had me locked up in the torture chamber, here's what they wanted to do. (Aghast!) They wanted to open up a major artery, in my leg (the crotch to be specific) ... and shove a bunch of wires with micro-miniature cameras on the end up into my artery.
But that wasn't all. Then they wanted to keep on shoving those wires further and further into my artery until they followed it all the way up to my brain ... at which point they would inject a dye into my bloodstream, switch on the electrical current to those wires with cameras, and then sit back and watch the show.
They called it a test.
Next time I'm going to tell them that if they want to run their test, then they can run it on themselves first.
May 16, 2008